P.09 EDITION 4 | Part 1
What we are most afraid of doing, is what we should probably be doing right now. A tall order when you have everything seemingly under control. If you ignore the universe long enough when it asks you to slow down – the universe does choose for you. To me, growth is complex. Not easy in practice.
I was working my modus operandi. The universe needed me to be still though, pay attention and release to reveal, sort of, so it intervened. Let me explain.
I injured myself critically in 2014, was diagnosed with a fractured coccyx and given 12 months of bed ridden recovery. My world stopped beating. I had to accept my situation, find the right attitude to heal and realise that if I could not go out, I had to go IN, to reveal the universes true purpose for me. At the time, I was on a roll. Busy like two of me.
Life happens to all of us, everyone has a playbook, but we need opportunities to show us, if our strategies are working. Change was imminent. I was sensing it everywhere. In my partnerships, personal and work life. Between you & I, Nintendo, any day over adulting.
I wanted to skip recovery for sure, as I was strong and active, at gym 5 times a week, with my personal trainer Neels Moor. From doing yoga, Pilates, and swimming to ease sore muscles, I would have been described as over-active. Lionshead was my bitch and what a formidable counterpart she was! I became a runner, completing my 1st half marathon in 2014. I was doing all of this weekly and enjoying the daily challenges and renewed energy it gave me as well!
It was my way of life and every part of it, was affected by my fracture. I survived on hope, pain killers, rest and a few close friends who refused to leave my side. My body however, used to training regularly, didn’t recognise me. My mind, tired of being tired of waiting to heal completely, shut down in the face of a year long recovery. I started writing, put away my cell phone and trusted the process.
As Murphy’s law would have it, my pause-penance was overlapped with personal concerns of the Kilimanjaro kind. I couldn’t SEE what seemed so obvious to others: I needed to STOP.
STOP…Why? May I have manifested all of this? My life was responding very well to a gruelling routine and social scenario. Or was it? Perhaps it was time to figure out my next big step. It was scary, I literally couldn’t walk and I needed to wait a year to get better. I had reached a personal plateau, I needed to reach a new platform.
6 months in, I came to terms – this journey was about more than I could SEE. I needed tangible change, to heal. I needed a new set of eyes, or Id be blind to the jive. So I started letting go. I would have to surrender to many facts in my life. Behaviour that stifled me, people / talk that no longer challenged me, jobs that failed to inspire me? It had to go. Thoughts become things, I had to choose the good ones. But that’s not easy, because people and places are involved and we all know healing is a process.
Every reassurance, self love, patience-practice and positive, meaningful dialogue were a necessity to healing. Drowning out the bullshit, became a NECESSARY action.
Pen, paper, prayer and privacy. LIFE expected something from me! Or was this injury the tipping point?
Platform09. This was my last stop. Where else would I go?
Imaan C. Mac Quena
PART 2 COMING SOON…
Pictures Courtesy of Gavin Klein Schmidt